It’s just amazing how a series of events can change your perception of something for which you had a different opinion earlier. I happened to be listening this song a few minutes back, “Forever Young” by Youth Group. I just stumbled upon this song in my music collection of a sudden. Once download as a part of The OC Season 3 music album , I hadn’t liked it then. Fortunately I hadn’t deleted it then, which I generally do, because I just seem have fallen for this song this time.

Image

Another one of my favorite song.

Maybe I just like both these songs coz I like their title.

Or maybe the reason is Dylan for this one

The sudden affection that I’ve gained for this song could be reasons that spread as wide a spectrum but to pin point some of the main ones was the reason I began writing down this post.

As I had mentioned earlier there were a series of events that occurred in my life in between the two points of time, the first time when I had heard this song and the present. The most distinct one being on of the morning jogging sessions that I was in a habit of going with a friend of mine when I wasstill in college.

While performing that daily ritual one morning we engaged in a debate over whether anyone would want to live forever, i.e. never die. NEVER! I held the belief at that time, which I had absorbed from the movie The Man From Earth, that it would be futile to live forever since the person who gets to do that would face entirely different set of complications as compared to us ordinary mortals. Seeing your loved ones die while you don’t age, hiding your identity by shifting places at regular intervals so that the Govt. does not make you a lab rat for its experiments etc.etc. I thought I had very good points to support my stance. But my friend was adamant that this life that we have is too short to do everything that a person has desires to do. Granted that the person would face the problems that I have mentioned earlier but the experience itself to do all the beautiful things that are there in the world is a good reason to live forever. But I never really cared about that! I had looked at the topic purely from a debating point of view. I had to have an upper hand.

Fast forward to present and I see myself in a place where I realize that the outside world is amazing. College life and all before that had really acted as a cocoon and protected me from the realities of this world. But along with the realities it had, as a side effect, blocked so many things that are there outside that make your life worthwhile and add the ding to it. There are many new people to meet, so many hobbies to take up, so many inventions to make, so many things to discover. To quote a part of Forever Young

So many adventures couldn’t happen today
So many songs we forgot to play
So many dreams are swinging out of the blue

My life seems to have just begun, and with this realization I have also come to another realization that the things I wanna do in this lifetime have hopelessly outnumbered an average human lifetime. There seems to be a dearth of time, maybe that’s why everyone emphasizes so much about that importance of time. Looking back maybe my friend had looked at the discussion from an emotional point of view. I now realize that the position where I stand now, he had been standing there then. He was much more advance than me.

I now realize that the journey undertaken to fulfill each desired activity would be beautiful despite the outcome at the end. Even if I manage to live to such an extent that I forget whether I had already accomplished that task before, I would gladly do it again. All because it’s worth doing it all over again. So be it climbing Mount Everest once or climbing it once again, the subsequent adventures would still be as exhilarating as the first time. The only thing that would change is time. But then if you have all the time in the world, that really doesn’t matter, does it?

And that is why I have started loving this song. It brings out the desire in me to live forever, to accomplish all the things that I want to do, to search for new things that I would love to do. But since I’ve only a limited time on this world it even makes wanna try harder and faster to accomplish those things. Because, you only have one life.

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Probably

Posted: March 20, 2011 in Life's Tale
Tags:

Probably … Just might … With a little more persuasion … Or just extreme boredom ….
Probably then I might start blogging again … But that’s still a probability …
Only time can tell … Anyone out there who can pursue me ?

Exile

Posted: December 6, 2008 in Random
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First post in almost 4.5 months . My first reaction on logging into my WordPress account was going to be “God ! It feels good to be blogging again !” . But guess what it actually was : “Holy crap ! The WordPress dashboard makeover is totally beautiful!!”  Seriously people, those who haven’t seen the new WordPress dashboard are really missing out one of the most beautiful interfaces I’ve ever seen in any website [ Except perhaps apple.com and facebook.com ] 

Coming back to the topic, well the heading explains it all. I was on an exile to, well, my college . Yeah the same old Manipal Institute of Technology. And to sum up my experience in Manipal this time I have only one word – LEGENDARY. Partly coz I watched a lot of How I Met Your Mother this sem [ Waddup bros !! 😉 ] and mostly coz I really did learn some useful stuff this time , not like the last time when I totally wasted my time on things even I haven’t got the slightest clue . 

Though the credit for this does not go to my hard work and determination. No siree. It totally goes to the event when I got separated from my section – the I section. For those of you who are less aware of what the I section is and how I got separated from it lemme brief you a little. I section was my section in the 1st year of MIT. Jaha padhai kam aur masti zyada hoti thi  [This a complement , not to be taken in sarcastic manner ] . Section I rocked in the first year, but it got split into two this year. First 75% forming the A section of the 2nd year CSE branch and the latter 25% merging the academic J section guys/gals thus forming the B section of CSE 2nd year. Me belonging to the 25% batch. So as I said earlier, it wasn’t due to my hard work or dedication that I learnt something. It was actually because B section is so … so… SO studious that I think I kinda got infected by the ACADEMIC virus. 

But … there’s still one big BUT… I still took the road less travelled. So when the rest of the B section was working hard on the college curriculum I took the liberty of foraying into different fields. I took part in Techtatva and won a 1st and 2nd prize in Puzzlemania and Graphic Design event [Ankit Bhatia being my teammate in Graphic Design] and won some considerable amount of prize money [High five !! Barnacle style]. Learnt some Photoshop and Python. Joined swimming where I managed to double my previous sem’s laps record of 8 to a respectable 17 laps daily [And am still learning] , learnt tennis a bit but I’m making progress [ I wont deny that its still a piece of cake to defeat me in Tennis , but let’s see what next sem has in store for me ]. Oh and I’ve finally STARTED LEARNING guitar [Note the emphasis on ‘started learning’. It means that I still can’t play any song and I am just filling space here to make an impression on you]. Some more stuff is there to tell but I am keeping that for later. Its not good to take out all the goodies from the bag at once. 

Moving on to a different topic the latest seasons of Heroes and Big Bang Theory totally got my senses on a high alert. Heroes is becoming more awesome than ever. It’s becoming hard to tell who the heroes are in this season and who all are villains. The episodes Eclipse 1 and 2 were so magnificently written that I was totally baffled when I saw them. Eagerly waiting for the next episode. Big Bang on the other hand deserves the name that it has. Its getting better that F.R.I.E.N.D.S [So of you might say “Nothing gets better than F.R.I.E.N.D.S , but I respectfully disagree , BBT is great ].

The Dark Knight. What do I say about it. Am outta words. Just these words : ” I AM DOWNLOADING IT’S 7.5 GB BLUE RAY VERSION. ”  Haven’t done any other movie before. I seriously wish that they don’t make another sequel of it. It would be a great let down if it turns up like the Spiderman-3, Terminator-3 or Matrix Revolution. 

That’s it for today folks. I have vacations till 11th Jan. I guess I’ll keep posting something or the other this time. This was just a comeback post. Stay tuned for more.  

 

Laments of a Forlorn Heart

Posted: May 28, 2008 in Life's Tale

The blurry image of the not so distant past is becoming clearer than ever before . I feel that I’m going back in time when it all happened…

8 months ago….

The night couldn’t have been more romantic . Sitting on the cliff edge , just you and me , with the twinkling city lights ahead of the cliff seemed like the reflection of the stars above us . The sky ,clear and dark , couldn’t have been more beautiful . The gentle wind made your hair shiver in air . And there you sat , with my head on your lap . You gently caressed my hair with your fingers like you always did when I sat in such position .

“If the stars were to grant you one wish , what would it be ? ” , I asked .

A bit of pondering and you replied gently ,” I would wish that we both become a constellation so that we stay together till eternity ”

“A very cheesy reply ” , I said and smiled , hearing which you gave that irritated look of yours . I just love that look of yours, coz your nose gets pressed and round and you look really really cute . Not that you don’t look beautiful otherwise but the irritated look of yours is the one I go ga-ga over . “But Miss Komal I think its late enough , we must head back home , your father must be getting very angry .”

You sighed and moments later we were on my bike , heading for home .

Wham !!!!!!

Ouch !!!! That smarts !!!

The pain ! Its intense ! Seems to be radiating from all over my body . I slowly gather  the courage to open my eyes .

Oh my God ! Where am I ?

The were dozens of plastic tubes attached to almost every part of my body . One for probably blood transfer , another for glucose and the rest I had no idea of . The green curtains indicated the probably I was in a hospital . My legs were plastered . Badly plastered ! So much that I couldn’t make out where my torso started and where the plaster ended . Suddenly a searing pain ran through my chest and I jumped in recoil . The figure of a lady spontaneously came to my assistance . She gently calmed me down and shouted for assistance . A swarm of nurses came in time and gave me necessary injections .

Ah ! Much better !

It was only when I calmed down that I realised that the lady was my Mom , immensly thin , tense and weak . Almost a frail figure with no energy left .

A trickle of tear went down her eyes , It was difficult to understand whether it was due to the sorrow of my position or the joy that I was still alive in this critical state .

“Two months has it been since the accident “, she sniffed and said . “You have been under life support systems since then .” I guess thats why she looked pale . Mothers are always weak at heart . When I was young even a single scratch on me would make heart immmensly tense . This time I have no idea what impact my present situation was having on her .

“What about Komal ? ” I asked . Its was the first question that came to my mind . She hesitated , Stuttered , and seemed completely out of words . Silence prevailed !

“Mom ! Tell me !” I angrily shouted  with all my strength . Or so it seemed to me . Coz it was no more than a whisper that came out. I was so weak that even the whisper seemed to be fatal to me . A sudden surge of pain ran through my spine as soon as I had made it . She quickly came besides me to calm me down .

Relief again . She was holding my hand .

“Mom ….. Please …. Tell me ”

This time it was more of a solemn plead that I made , humble enough to melt her heart . A tear slowly trickled down my left eye .

“She’s …. dead ” , she said in a single long sigh .

Present day , morning  …

Time managed to mend only my physical wounds . I can walk and even run now . I enter the dining room where my Dad is already seated .

“And how are we today ?” he asks

“Fine” I said with a smile , made to disguise the sorrow I was in . Even he knew that I had been in perpetual pain since I came to know about your death . The question had been asked just to break the sullen silence that usually prevailed every morning at the breakfast table . But that didn’t help much . Silence prevailed thereafter , after all .

“You know what son … A new constellation has been discovered . Its in today’s newspaper . Says here it resembles a girl with her arms stretched open , as if she’s about to hug someone ……….. ”

Silence struck once again . But this time it left me thinking deeply .

10 mins ago , present day , afternoon …

Its been a hard life without you Komal .

“We couldn’t save her son ” my mother had said when she broke the news about your death . “It was impossible . She had a cracked skull . The rear wheel of the truck ran over her  head which lead to her instant death . You , however , were fortunate to have only your legs crushed by it . The people who witnessed the accident promptly called for ambulance … ”

I’ve been dying a slow death since then , Komal . As if the void created by your absence is not painful enough , I have to also live with the haunting feeling that I’ve been responsible for your death . Had I not been driving that recklessly that  day , this wouldn’t have been the scene today .

But you know what ! I see you in my dreams everyday . And in them I never find you angry at me. You smile at me with your arms wide open as if wanting me to hug you . Yet …. yet …. when I look into you eyes there’s nothing I can see . Nothing but my own mistake staring back at me .

Today when Dad told me about the new constellation , I was completely baffled . Maybe the stars after all granted your wish . Maybe you’ve become a constellation after all . Maybe that’s what you tried to tell me in my dreams . Maybe its my turn now !!

I long for your hug ,Komal . I long for the loving manner in which you would caress my hair . I long to see you smile . Its time for me to join you with the stars ….and become a constellation too . To get immortalised . Thats why I have this knife before me . The moment I end this letter , I’m going to cut my throat and join you for eternity .

See you in the cosmos Komal …

It was a small journey that we’d made together … But its truly a walk to remember … Or maybe …. a walk that everyone should forget …

Stranger …

Posted: May 13, 2008 in Random
Tags: , ,

A friend of mine made a very pinching comment on one of my habits yesterday … She said that I’m famous among my old friends that I don’t keep in touch with them … The comment was a very casual one but it did successfully pinch me right in the weak spot …

It did so because somewhere deep down in me I do know that I have the habit of doing this … I wont call it a habit though … Its more of my characteristic … Innate one … Has been there since I started making friends , since I was a tiny tot … When my friend made this sarcastic remark all of my friends that I have made since I was an infant rushed through my brain …

I remember some of my oldest friends , those who belong to the rare breed of best friends , I no longer am in touch with them … More importantly the strangest thing is that I have them in all my gtalk/yahoo/hotmail messenger buddy list , orkut/facebook accounts , yet I fail to be in touch …

Being social is one thing that I have never learnt in my life … I never initiate a conversation … I never plan an outing with my friends … I never ask girl out for a dinner myself even if I liked her … I have always waited for others to start talking to me … Have always waited for my friends to plan an outing and have always thought that the girl asks me out [ A very very silly thought which I must say ] … But I guess it never pinched me , though this thing always remained in my mind that this is the negative point of my character …

But one lame excuse that I can give for my defence is that being not in touch with my friends and forgetting them are two separate phrases … I do remember each and everyone of them … But I guess this is the lamest of excuse that I could’ve given …

Better one perhaps is an apology … If any of my friend is reading this post I apologise to him for not having been in touch with him … I will try my best to change this habit of mine [ Though I might still not gather the guts to ask a girl our for dinner 🙂 ] … But you might be better knowing me and that this is one of my oldest habit … And old habits die hard … Still I will make effort to keep in touch … You guys try to be in contact too …

And thank you my friend [ wont disclose the name ] for telling me that I’m famous among my old friends that I dont keep in touch with them … Had you not told me this then perhaps I’d have never felt the urge to change …

Long time , No post …

Posted: April 7, 2008 in Uncategorized

Its been quite sometime that I haven’t posted here on my blog … Its not that I don’t think of writing or I care if anyone’s reading my posts or not …

But the problem lies somewhere else … Almost everyday I open my blogging account , click on the write post link and as I am about to start typing I realise that I dont have anything to write about … And even if I have anything to write about I feel that its not worth writing here …

This has become almost a routine activity nowdays … And steadily my desire to blog has been diminishing … Perhaps I should take sometime off blogging and when I feel that I have enough content worth writing , probably then I will start posting again …

In the meantime , its farewell …

Losing the track !

Posted: March 15, 2008 in Life's Tale

Darn !

I few days ago I propagated my ideology of having an aim in life . Blabbered all the philosophies regards why we need an aim in life . Telling you that I perhaps I’ve thought what aim I have . And suddenly I realise now that I’ve lost sight of that aim . Maybe because of a person , maybe because of my innate and corrupt habit of getting off track every now and then or perhaps some other reason .

I think I’ll have to figure out myself properly . I still am a mystery for myself , even after having been with myself since birth . Only when I characterise what I actually am will I be able to realise where my problem lies .